Excuse Me.....
"Nan, are you proud of me? I said excuse me. I walked up to them and said excuse me and they moved, so I walked though! Aren't you proud of me?" Marcus, I was proud of you right up to the part where you slapped her on the butt! "Oh......But aren't you proud of me? I said excuse me."
Bad Luck
"Hey look Nan, it's a black cat. If it walks in front of you it's bad luck. If you walk under a ladder it's bad luck. If you break a mirror it's bad luck. Marcus, what do you think is bad luck?" "Driving your car into a tree."
Sauteed with Butter
Marcus, What would you like for dinner? "Onions." Onions? You only want onions for dinner?!? "Yes, just onions" And how would you like your onions? Peeled like an apple?! "No, silly! I just want them sauteed with butter."
Kids can be quit literal...
I'm cleaning up my tools and Hunter is just standing there watching me, so I look at him and say..."I could use some help"...so of course he takes off. Not 4 minutes later my neighbors are in my backyard asking me if I needed help. Looks like when he took off, he actually went across the street, rang the doorbell and told the neighbors I needed help!!!
Tissues are for....
"Nan, See those dots" What dots? "The dots on the tv." There are dots on the tv? "Ya, they're boogers." Whose boogers are they? "Mine." Why would you put boogers on the TV screen? "Because I didn't know where else to put them." Ever heard of a tissue?!?!? "A tissue?!?" Yes, Marcus, the thing you blow your nose with? "Nan, I picked my nose. I didn't blow it."
Analogy
"Hey Nan, look at this......this is like a cup that holds all the pee and this is like the straw that sucks all the pee out!"
April Fools
"Nan?"
Yes?
"The other Mommy said we are going to be getting a Daddy."
She did? Why would she say that?
"Well, if you're gone and mommy is gone then no one is with us and who will take care of the house?"
Why are Mommy and I leaving?
"Well, Gramma call on the phone and you need to go see her because she hurt her back and you need to make her a sculpture..."
MARCUS!
"Oh, all right....We were just messing with you about the Daddy."
Yes?
"The other Mommy said we are going to be getting a Daddy."
She did? Why would she say that?
"Well, if you're gone and mommy is gone then no one is with us and who will take care of the house?"
Why are Mommy and I leaving?
"Well, Gramma call on the phone and you need to go see her because she hurt her back and you need to make her a sculpture..."
MARCUS!
"Oh, all right....We were just messing with you about the Daddy."
Nose Picker
I walk into the living room with my cup of coffee this morning and say "Hey, Good Morning Mr. Magoo!" He turns around and looks at me, with his finger in his nose and says "That's Mr Nose Picker to you Nan."
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